Saturday, November 21, 2009

School Photos


At about this time last year my sister in law and I tried to take Evie and my nephew Dylan out to get professional pictures taken... it ended miserably. Well things sure have changed in one year. Evie got her first set of school photos taken this past month and man are they (in my totally biased opinion) cute! Only problem I have with them is when the heck did she get so old? (sniff, sniff)

Indoctrination


No matter how much we (or at least some, like myself) would like to pretend that we are above intentional indoctrination of our brood, I am here to admit that any feelings of spiritual impartiality went out the window two weeks ago when I found the most awesome children’s book ever. A week ago now I had a Wednesday all to myself (Veteran’s Day). It was a positively marvelous day filled with taking care of all the nagging errands and a nice massage thrown in for good measure. Well, one of my favorite pastimes that I don’t get to do very often anymore is just to leisurely browse through my local used bookstore. Without Evie in tow, I was able to spend a whole ½ hour there just browsing. Of course, even then she wasn’t far from my mind because the area I browsed was the kids section, but a leisurely browse is a leisurely browse. As I grazed I came upon a wonderful book tucked between two precious moment’s bibles in the “children’s religion” section… Moody Cow Meditates. The very thought of it made me giggle, so I (figuring worst case Evie hates the books and I spend 5 dollars on a giggle) snagged it from the shelf and brought it home.

Well Evie anything but hates Moody Cow. It has become near nightly reading and, in fact, one day last week I was required to read it no less than 5 times… in two hours. The book is about a cow who has a terrible day and who is helped down off his angry ledge by a wise grandfather who teaches him to meditate… awesome. Evie has gotten so into this book that we now “meditate” together, al la two-year. In other words, she sits on my meditation cushion and asks me questions like, “can I ring the bells again?” And “is the time up?” and “why does meditating take so long?” She is doing quite well now and will actually sit still with me for about two minutes, which for a two year old is pretty darn good. Who knows, by the time she is 16 maybe she’ll be ready for a week long silent retreat….(hahahahaha)

Dancin'...


Make no mistake... Evie is a dancing queen (In case you think this is my good taste, the outfit was totally her doing)

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Fairytale


A new plague has taken root in the Lacroix household, and although I am told it is quite the common affliction amongst the under 10 female set, I am concerned about all of our welfare nonetheless. Ahh yes I remember now how I laughed heartily when told that it was only a matter of time until the dreaded princess pox reached my home, spreading pink pestilence in its wake. I waved them off with a chuckle, oh no not my daughter, she would never succumb to such an illness. But, my friends, I am here to say that I, once again, have been naïve. There is just no escaping this plague, and given that Evie has already fallen ill there is nothing for Patrick and I to do but to capitulate and become fairytaled as well.

The first symptoms emerged months ago, a request for pretty skirt here and there, the desire for me to build a castle for her out of a cardboard box, but the peak (or so we imagine…hope?) came to pass this past Monday when Evie began to insist that I call her Sleeping Beauty and that my name was no longer Mommy but Cinderella. While cooking dinner on Monday night Sleeping Beauty frequently beckoned Cinderella to her room to give her a kiss and wake her up so that we could go live in Cinderella’s castle “happily ever after” (I tried to explain to Evie that based on current injustices in our country Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty would only be able to live together and not get married like she wanted us to, but she just brushed this snag aside with a “Come on Mommy-Cinderella, its getting late and I don’t want you to loose a shoe.”) Then, once Patrick came home, the real fun started as we had our Prince Charming. Prince Charming was then required to help Sleeping Beauty jump on the bed (I’m not sure what fairytale that is from… but a little creativity here and there is nice)

All week long now Patrick has been replaced by Prince Charming (so to speak) who has had not one but two princesses. Reality set in this morning however when Sleeping Beauty (which, come to think of it, is pretty ironic given that she really hasn’t slept very well this week) told me that it was time for Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty to wake up and make coffee and pancakes for Prince Charming. So much for happily ever after.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Halloween!


Evie had a great Halloween this year! Her Mina made her a fabulous fairy costume and man did she get excited to wear it. The costume was topped off by a wand that a good witch at Valley of the Moon gave her. The wand says kindness on one side and happiness on the other, so of course Evie had to go around casting kind and happy spells on everyone.... including Kita. On Friday we went to my Uncle's annual Halloween party, which is always a great display of Halloween-ness... complete with haunted tents and "dead" things floating in the pool.


On Saturday we had a little gathering at our house of a few of Evie's friends (well really our friends who just happen to bring along Evie's friends). There was great food brought by all and even better trick or treating. While part of the crew (mostly male) hung out and passed out candy the rest of us went around the block, but at the speed of toddlers (and a few older kids who patiently waited) it took over an hour.


Then after trick or treating the whole crew gathered on the front porch to continue to pass out candy and to watch usually un-sugared kids have waaay to much fun with suckers and other such delights.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Lots to report


Well I haven't had a chance to post in a few weeks. It has been a pretty fabulous few weeks though! Two weekends ago Patrick, Evie, my Dad and I all went to the Blues Festival in Reid Park. Evie and Patrick really cut a rug on the little dance floor in front of the stage! Then afterward Evie went on a makeshift train ride... nothing quite like an entrepreneur. (It made Patrick a bit nervous so he felt the need to pretty much follow the train around the playground)




Then last weekend I went to Chicago and then Madison for my friend Lara's wedding (no pictures though, I couldn't find my lens cap so I didn't bring my camera). Evie was a little sad to see me go so I cheered her up with a cowgirl shirt... she then proceeded to snag my hat that I was going to wear and it all turned out too cute to not take a picture. While I was gone Patrick and Evie had a blast and did all sorts of things like a football game, a second trip to valley of the moon (a funky little Tucson thing), the zoo and more than one outing for bagels. I missed them all weekend but I think they had more fun without me :)


This week I took another day off because my good friend Dorigen was in town for a conference and decided to stay an extra day to hang with the Lacroix household. In the morning I took her to a few of my favorite spots and then in the afternoon Evie took her to her favorite spot (the large playground at Reid Park). Evie absolutely loved Dorigen and has not stopped talking about her since we left... she is trying to get us to commit to a trip to DC just so she can see her again.

Of course the most exciting event of the month is looming this weekend... I'm bringing my camera for that, lens cap or no!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Ahhh Fall


For the past five days we have been up at the cabin on the Blue (three cheers for random holidays celebrating questionable conquests that only state employees get off) It has certainly cooled down here in Tucson, but in the mountains it is downright chilly! All the leaves are changing color and that wonderful crisp nip was ever present. We didn't do too much hiking around, as Patrick is still sporting a sprained ankle, but that didn't stop us from a drive and picnic up on Escudilla and general frolic on the Blue.


Because we weren't going for any family treks, I decided to make a puppet theater for Evie that I saw in a magazine my mom had up at the cabin. I forgot how much I like sewing until I got into this project, which, because it has been years since I have truly taken needle to cloth took me probably twice as long as it would for the normal human. I think it turned out OK though and Evie (and Patrick) seem to think that it is a lot of fun. We didn't have any puppets at the cabin so I turned an old sock into a snake. We quickly realized that at Evie's level of puppetry stuffed animals are really just as good (if not better than) your traditional hand-operated devices, so we quickly had quite the menagerie of characters for Evie's shows. The pictures here feature snake and moose but there was also horse, strange kewpie doll (that we bought for a dollar at the Alpine thrift store) and bear.


Unfortunately Sunday night and all day Monday were spent cuddling poor sick Evie (another minor preschool plague, she is already feeling better) Her sickness, of course, now has Patrick and my parents down for the count and I am just sitting here waiting for it to take me too. Somehow I always seem to be the last one to fall... as I went to bed last night I took a few big breaths through my (unplugged) nose and a nice big swallow with my (un-scratchy) throat, just so I could remember what it all feels like when I eventually get sick. I'll do the same tonight, maybe adding a little prayer to the all merciful deity that occasionally spares parents of their children's viruses.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Oktoberfest


Last Sunday we decided on a whim to go out to the Oktoberfest at Reid Park after Evie's nap. It was great fun! The highlights of the outing (aside from the beer for Patrick and I of course) was Evie getting her face painted for the first time and Evie the polka dancer.

When we first arrived I saw the face painting and thought it might be an interesting experiment... As it turned out Evie got really into it and sat still for, I kid you not, 10 minutes while a rather elaborate frog was painted on her cheek. I think it felt a little funny to her because when I tried to take pictures of her she kept making this funny droopy smile (see photos above). Good thing it was a cheap thrill because about 10 minutes later she dug into some roasted corn and the poor froggie lost his front arms and most of his mouth. Next time we'll have to stick to the strictly cheeky butterflies and the like.

Face painting was fun and all but the real excitement took place post corn when Evie made her way to the dancing stage and the live Polka band started oompah-pahing. She was so funny. When we turn on music to dance at home she insists that we hold her hands and dance with her. But here, perhaps because there was a real audience and stage, she wanted nothing to do with us, and even got quite distraught if we so much as stepped on the stage. Luckily it was a small crowd with many a grandparent so her "show" was tolerated and even encouraged. She even made a friend, a four year old, who was quite the experienced dancer herself. As it turned out she was more than happy to take Evie under her wing and help her learn the Polkaing ropes.


Her propensity for quick (not to mention hilarious) moves on the dance floor are going to force me to hone my skills in the action-shot department. Given that I am a novice at such photography I am afraid I was unable to capture some of the most amusing antics... Maybe next time there is a Polka band I'll bring my video camera (now wouldn't that be a treat!)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Evie at 2.5

Name: GenevieveMarieLacroix (this is what she says if you ask her what her name is... it comes out as one big blur and always causes a quizzical look from the questioner)
Age: 2 and 1/2 (although if you ask her how old she is she will say 2 months)
Favorite color: Green
Favorite toy: Lego duplos
Lovey: Blankie Sweater (this is any of three sweaters she has acquired over the past six months)
Favorite activities: Dancing and preforming of any kind and playing in water (especially if it involves the bathroom sink)
Favorite pet: Oliver (or Ollie-olle-O as she calls him. This is the cat Oliver not to be confused with the two new chickens also named Oliver)
When asked what her favorite song was: "Songs about kitties - Kitties all around the world come here to my house" (This isn't one I've heard before but when she sang it I must admit it was pretty catchy) She later told me her favorite song was Alloutte.
Favorite thing to wear: Skirts, especially those that spin nicely
Favorite foods: pasta, blueberries and pita
Favorite books: One Kitten for Kim, Madeline (all of them) and Clifford (all of them)
What does she want to be when she grows up: "A horse... eeheeheehee"
Vices: Chewing on things (like blankie sweater, ribbons and really anything made of cloth), staying up past 8 pm and ice cream.
Nighttime routine: Three (or so) books in Mom and Dad's bed, teeth brushing, one more story (of the fairy tale sort) told in her bed when she is all tucked in and then Mary Poppins lullabies with a round of mbube thrown in for good measure. (These stay on repeat for about 15 minutes hour after she goes to bed, I just checked the play count on them...777 times)
Overheard:
Kelly-Evie close your eyes and go to sleep. Evie-Mommy I can't close my eyes because then I won't be able to see.
With regard to the moon behind the clouds: "Mommy, maybe the moon is playing peek-a-boo?"
When told she cannot jump on the bed after dinner (this is in an often futile atempt to get her to calm down before bed) "But, Daddy, I need exercise!"

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Changing and not changing


Some things in the Lacroix world changed over this past weekend: we bought a new car, so long little red Jeep (or as Evie calls it Jeepie)...hello new Forester, we picked up two new chickens, Evie has named them both Oliver (does anyone see a trend here?) and Evie and I turned under our summer garden to plant a fall/winter one.

The not so changing? Evie has an amazing crocheted dress that Oma made for her first Easter, and for the past week we have not been able to get her to take it off. The exception being for school, where she bought some bogus excuse about school being too dirty for the dress. This, as you can see, is silly given that these pictures show that I then I let her garden in it on Saturday. (Sorry Monique! But it has come totally clean in the laundry...) She is so in love with this dress that this past week not only is she wearing it every day when I get home from work but she has gone to a birthday party in it, slept in it, gone out shopping in it, out for breakfast in it and, of course, helped me with the garden in it. (What you don't see in the pictures are the sparkly pink shoes she also insisted on wearing while gardening... sigh... at least she likes the dirt!) Now don't get me wrong the dress is awesome (in fact a little too awesome for all this abuse) but it is now ohh about 2 sizes to small for her so it just barely covers her tushie.... almost indecent. I think I have the solution though. I am getting ready to go out and by seat covers for our new car (so that it stays looking new for at least a little while) and while I am there I am going to invest in a few pairs of nice, thick tights for her as well :)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Mmmm




ice cream is sooo good.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Big Girl Bed


Last weekend Evie spent Friday and Saturday sleeping on her mattress on the floor. On Sunday I asked her if she wanted to get rid of her crib and use a "big-girl bed" and her response was an emphatic "SURE!". I took apart the crib and converted it into the cutest little small person bed. Evie was so excited about it she immediately got all of her stuffed animals and put them to sleep on either end of her new bed. Then we went out to Target and picked up a few things every big girl should have: bedside table (aka bookshelves, aka red crates), a hamper and a box to organize crafts. Evie was most excited about the hamper and proceeded to collect all of the laundry in the house and insist that she be allowed to wash it. (nice...)

She has slept really well in the bed all week. (I think she might have fallen out one night because she woke up crying for some reason but when we came in the room she was in the bed. so who knows....) The funny thing is that she still stays in bed and calls for me in the morning as if she were unable to get out. I will be curious to see how long that lasts for.


In other news Evie has really gotten into art projects and this morning we busted out the clay. She had a great time making squirmies (her name for long pieces of clay) and must have spent an hour creating scenarios with her squirmies, which, of course, had to involve me sitting there patiently with squirmies on my leg so that "they wouldn't cry when Evie leaves" She also, very nicely, brought Patrick his own squirmie to keep him company while he did house repair work... too cute.


Evie explaining the anatomy of a squirmie

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Labor Day at Blue '09


As has become our tradition, we spent a fabulous labor day weekend up at the cabin on the Blue. This weekend was particularly nice though because my brother and Claudia decided to join us too!

We spent Saturday making our annual visit to the Alpine craft club's Christmas bazaar. Picked up a couple of exciting oraments for the tree and a cool hand-made toy for Evie. We then went next store to the library's thrift store (all proceeds go to support the Alpine Library) where Evie picked out some interesting toys (see swaddled oversized my little pony below) and a big bag of dress-up clothes for just a buck!


Saturday night we made s'mores at the fireplace... but this time Evie had vegan s'mores because the last two times she has eaten marshmallows it didn't end well... we still aren't sure if it really is the mallow's fault but I personally didn't want to take the chance. Because we told her marshmallows make her sick she proclaimed her banana s'mores the "yummy ones" and the mallow ones "yucky ones" At one point she went into the kitchen to give my dad a real s'more and said "Here you go Papa, I have a yucky s'more for you."

On Sunday we just hung around the cabin. Evie and I spent a good two hours down at the stream. I decided to take a hands off approach to stream exploration and just let her guide me where she wanted to go and do what she wanted to do. As a result we meandered up the stream, occasionally sitting in one spot to throw rocks, float sticks downstream or collect flowers. It was a wonderfully relaxing way to spend a morning.


On Monday we packed up a little early and then stopped in Glenwood, NM for what has to be one of the coolest hikes, Whitewater Canyon, aka the catwalk hike. My mom took way more pictures than I did so I'll post more when I get them from her. It occurred to me over the weekend that this was Evie's third labor day weekend at the cabin... look at how much she has changed over those three holidays!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Itty Bitty Oliver


The Mott Lacroix family has a new member! His name is Itty Bitty Oliver... or just Ollie for short. He is a 2 month(ish) old kitten that I adopted from my coworker who has a reputation in a certain Phoenix neighborhood as the taker-in of your sick, your weary, your abandoned cat(s). At the tender age of a month (or so) he was led to her house by another stray that she had named Itty Bitty, thus Oliver's first name was Itty Bitty's Buddy. When she found little Oliver he had an abscess and chapped paws from living on the (hot!) mean streets of Phoenix in July. She diligently nursed him back to health and then sent out a call to kitty arms for a new family for him (She currently cares for six cats of her own and at least 10 strays...)


I (somehow) convinced Patrick that Itty Bitty's Buddy was just the kitten for us and so two weeks ago now I went up to Phoenix for work and came home with our new kitten. Evie was so excited at the idea of a kitty we decided to let her name him. Her first choice was Olivia, but once we explained to her that the kitty was a boy, and that she might give him a complex, she settled on Oliver.


Oliver was pretty shy at first but has really come out of his shell the past few days and is darting around all super cute and kitten-like. I forgot how much fun it can be to have a kitten... well fun and painful... I am nursing some pretty awesome scratches all over my toes where I was ambushed last night....

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Catalinas

For some reason we have a tough time pre-planning camping trips in the Catalinas. Both times we have gone, it has been a decidedly last minute operation. Last Saturday at around 3 pm Patrick and I decided that it was too hot in Tucson, and that we hadn't gotten out in awhile so, what the heck, lets just go camping up on Mount Lemmon tonight. This was, of course, the one time Evie decided to take a 4.5 hour nap so we didn't even put foot in the car until well past 4 pm. Given the last-minuteness of the excursion we also had to make a stop a the store for burgers, charcoal, water and cheddar bunnies. Oh and wouldn't you know the car doesn't have enough gas...

Anyway, we rolled into the first campground deemed at a high enough elevation for suitable sleeping at about 5:30 and were told that it was full (I guess we weren't the only Tucsonans tired of the heat). We drove on to the next campground and found the first two loops totally full. Just as we were getting ready to find a picnic bench and just make it a dinner trip we found an open spot... and it was even a good one! We were watching my parent's dog so we tied both of them trees and I unloaded the car while Evie "helped" Patrick put up the tent. (Apparently ring-around-the-rosy is a very important step in putting together the tent in Evie's mind... who knew?)


By this point it was barely light out so we decided to start dinner. Luckily for us our "neighbors" had some lighter fluid for our charcoal, and Patrick got going on the turkey burgers... the going, I am afraid to say, was excruciatingly slow... so slow that Evie was asleep in the tent by the time dinner was "ready". Ahh nothing like very, very slow roasted burgers :)

In our rush to get out of the house I forgot that the last time we went camping Kita chewed a little hole in one of our tent zippers and subsequently the zipper broke. So we had the small problem of two dogs and no way to efficiently contain them in the tent for the night. Patrick ended up tying them together and then holding onto their leashes as he slept. Well, maybe slept isn't quite the right word for it... fitful rest might be more apropos. The dogs and Patrick may not have slept well but Evie was a champ! She was such a great camper (she even managed to poo in the woods, a feat many an adult cannot list as an accomplishment) and really didn't want to leave the woods. In fact the whole way down the mountain she half cried half moaned about how sad she was to leave "her Catalinas"

Friday, August 28, 2009

Packrat

I had my suspicions early-on, the occasional stray cookie in the diaper, an errant earring placed in unusual places like my shoe or the unmatched socks found en masse under a pillow. These incidents were, however, just a small prelude to the real show... Much like the development of her speech has become quite impressive over the last year so has the development of her pack-rat nature.

Exhibit A: Last week I was looking for the charger to my kindle. (This was after Evie was asleep so I couldn't just ask her directly.) Patrick suggested that I look inside the printer because he has seen Evie hiding things in there. So I opened it up, and lo and behold there was a bookmark, a pamphlet on xeriscaping and some old law school notes of Patrick's... no charger though (Clearly we don't use the printer very often!) Knowing that there are an almost infinite number of crevices in our house I decided to wait until Evie was awake on the off chance she would remember where she placed it. The next morning I explained to her what I had lost, she stopped and thought about it for a few seconds, and then walked into her room, dug into the little cubby space under her dolly stroller and handed the charger to me. Also with the charger was a washcloth, two hair ties and a wood triangle.

Exhibit B: Evie loves purses. She has about three at any given time that are stuffed with all sorts of errata. The other day she came up to me with one of the purses (which of course is (strike that, was) my purse in the first place) hands it to me and with a big grin tells me that it is a present for me. I open the purse and inside find: a used tissue, an ornament, half a wooden orange, a twist tie, a spoon and a crumpled piece of paper. If this was a present put together with me in mind, I am not quite sure what that says about what my daughter thinks of me...

Thursday, August 20, 2009

You know your a parent....


If the words “mommy I went poopy in the potty” cause you to gasp with joy and make a mad dash to the toilet. Yes folks the much anticipated moment has come… Evie last week placed a poo in the potty. For months this has been a real hang up of hers, pee pee has not been too much of an obstacle but by god if pooping the potty just wasn’t her thing. In an effort to entice her to relieve herself on the toilet we promised the most precious thing we could think of as a reward…. A princess card that sings.

Now I had not only promised her said card but also that she could pick out the card… soo we all (Patrick and I still feeling pretty darn ill, especially poor Patrick) piled into the Jeep and drove to Target, my assumed mecca for singing princess cards. I am sorry to say that Target’s supply of singing princess cards was pathetic at best (I have since realized that the place for such sundries is Walgreens.. word... now you know) We ended up with a fabulous card nonetheless. It was a birthday card for a five year old and involved a large princess on the front and a make it yourself crown. Evie also got to pick out some new undies. She (wisely) chose the tinkerbell variety. Ahh the celebrations I never could have imagined I had Evie….

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Why?

Why are you putting the key in the door mommy? Why do you use a towel? Why do I have to put on shoes? Why do I have to close the fridge? Why can’t I go outside? And all of that before 8 am. Such is the Lacroix house these past few weeks. All of a sudden Evie’s question-authority gene has kicked in, and man is it functioning in overdrive!

Although it is quite time consuming, I love this new found inquisitiveness, especially because it hasn’t taken the form that I originally imagined it would. In my mind I imagined that Evie would start asking me why about things like, why is the sky blue or why does the sun set every night. I had no idea that the whys would 1) start so early and 2) be about such mundane things. I guess it is a good thing that they ease you into your role as oracle/dictionary/encyclopedia. I am well equipped to explain why a key goes into a lock but not quite ready to answer those more involved questions like why is the sky is blue (although with the modern advent of wikipedia I think I’ll do alright!)

Sunday, August 9, 2009

The 10th Circle

Dante, I am afraid, missed a circle of hell. It is reserved for the parent who is not fastidious enough in their hand washing. The punishment for such sins is to get very, very sick and have to take care of a two year old. Now granted, on the surface it does not seem as bad as being trapped in a flaming tomb or having to push around great weights with ones chest but hear me out… it has its similarities. Take the flaming tomb for example. I had a fever off and on but was forced to hang out, awake, in my house and attempt to entertain Evie; it felt a bit like a flaming tomb. Then there are the weights… well this is just the shear agony of having to push your own body out of bed for the 4th time in one night because your poor two-year old (who, also by the way, still has a cold/strep) needs your help. Perhaps the most analogous is the second circle where the lustful are forced to blow about in a violent storm with out any hope of rest… ah yes that sums up the last week quite nicely.

The good news is unlike the poor souls in the inferno mine was really more of a purgatory which, I am happy to say is slowly melting back into paradise that life usually is around here…. Next time I will be more vigilant about hand washing!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Mud Puddle Party!


Today was the annual Tucson Mud Monster Party. This is our first time attending and man it was a hoot! Basically it transforms a large corner of Reid Park into a series of mud pits and obstacle courses. It is a very popular thing to do on a very hot Saturday morning, so we had to wait in line a bit but it was definitely worth it.


Evie tried out a number of the activities. First she played in the toddler puddles. (In fact she probably would have stayed there all morning if we hadn't convinced her that there was something even more fun to do) Next Evie tried her hand at a mud table with lots of mud and cups and shovels to help you build the world's best mud pie. Then Patrick and Evie went in the pig sty and got really, truly muddy. At the other end of the mud pit was a mud art ramada that the kids could use to take their newly dirtied bodies and paint with them. Finally, there was the Tucson Fire truck hosing everyone down, that part was a bit too scary for Evie.


We didn't stay for too long after the pig sty because I quickly realized I had committed a rookie error... I forgot to bring an extra diaper, let alone a change in clothes. Poor Evie's diaper was so wet and her jeans so heavy that she couldn't keep her pants up and ended up having to make her way back to the car bare-bottomed. I ended up being the official photographer of the event and didn't get more than just a casual mudding, I must admit I was a bit jealous of Patrick and Evie's grime. I think next year the camera will stay at home so that we all can go full force into the filth :)