Excelling

(To those of you who are not utter nerds, I have ask your forgiveness from the get go on this one.)

It is not very often that I see similarities between my two occupations (mom and water geek) but I tell you what, over the past month I have noticed a striking resemblance in one area: Evie reminds me of an excel spreadsheet.

1) Now maybe I am slow, but when I first started working in excel I’ll be dammed if I couldn’t figure out how to sort by column while keeping all of the rows together. (Don’t worry, after about a year of putting something in access and then re-exporting it to excel I took the time to figure this one out) Evie has presented a similar dilemma. Try as I might, I cannot get her to put away items (sort them) in the way I would like. I have been quite successful with getting her to put away her toys, but almost never will she put them in the receptacle that I ask her to. Thus, my whole idea of one chest for dolls, one for music instruments and one for blocks (which I thought was wonderful) has turned into three chests (and two kitchen cabinets) for whatever sort of toy Evie decides should go there on any given day (this, of course, includes the occasional stray pb&j sandwich).

2) When you are trying to write a formula in excel, if you don’t get it exactly right you receive a totally unhelpful error message, and a rather annoying tip-tap-tap from our friend the paperclip. You can search through the help file till your heart’s content but you won’t find exactly the answer for your situation. I swear, Evie is the same way! If the formula, i.e., situation, is just a little off she may just freak out on you, and you have little, if no, idea of what you did wrong. Going to the “help file” i.e., toddler self-help books (for you, not the toddler) rarely tell you how to deal with a tot who inexplicably is face down on the ground crying because she (by god) wanted the blue cup, not the green cup… when she doesn’t even know blue from green! How on earth do you come up with the right formula as to avoid that melt down next time? (well actually, although through no real help from a book, I have found at least a partial solution to this one… never let the belly go a-wanting for food)

3) Finally, and most similarly, is the error message you get in excel for “circular references.” Although sometimes this happens inexplicably, it is usually because you try to include the “question” as part of the answer when writing a formula. (Like defining a word with the word itself). Evie is a textbook example of the circular reference right now…. She intentionally spills her milk after we asked her not to. I ask “Evie why did you spill your milk?” She replies, “Because I spill my milk.” Or, “Evie, why are you afraid to sit in the bathtub with the water running?” Evie: “Because I am afraid to sit in the bathtub with the water running.” This little back and forth occurs ad nauseam in our house everyday. I guess rationale for actions is a developmental milestone we have yet to reach… go figure!