As a parent life is rarely dull, and when it is you get very nervous because chances are trouble is afoot. Ever since Evie became a biped it has been difficult to corral her, but we have managed OK. Add another toddler to the equation and all semblance of control is decidedly lost. You would think that I would know this already having witnessed Evie with her friends on many occasions. Or, perhaps, I am just an eternal optimist. Whatever the case my naïveté was the source of the most ridiculous almost photo shoot I have ever witnessed.
It all began a few days ago when Vivian and I had the idea to get Evie and Dylan matching outfits and take them to Sears to get portraits taken. I had these great romantic ideas of the two of them sitting on a fake pony, donning big smiles and having a grand old time. With these visions in mind we took them to Old Navy yesterday and immediately found them the cutest little outfits. (mostly on sale even!) The first critical step in the process was easily accomplished surely set the stage for what would be a fabulous photo shoot….
Take one. With their new outfits on we confidently strode into the portrait studio and waited for the photographer to work her magic. When the photographer’s first request was to sit two 19 month olds back to back with no props it became clear that we would have to rely on our own artifice to get the babes even to sit still, let alone take a picture. Oh how we tried. Genevieve would sit down on the cross like told only to have Dylan run from the studio. Then we would get Dylan back in the studio sitting pretty only to have Evie decide that she had experienced enough, proclaim “all done” and leave the room. We tried a fake rock, which both Evie and Dylan enjoyed, but like hell they were going to sit on it together. Then we did a fake rock and a red block… which would have resulted in funny pictures anyway… but that didn’t do it either. After about 15 minutes of trying it became clear that we needed to send out for reinforcements.
Take two. With Evie on my back I ran out of the Sears and into the mall to buy some lollipops. The only candy store nearby was a See’s so I had to buy them vanilla chocolate pops. Then on my way back to Sears I saw a toy store so thinking I would hedge my bets I bought a car for Dylan and a doll for Evie. Complimenting myself for my thoroughness, and cursing myself for enforcing gender stereotypes, I rushed back to the portrait studio. Lollipops in hand we sat them down on the white photo sheet again. The lollipops did the trick for about 10 seconds at which point they both stood up and started roaming around again, but this time their cute little faces were enhanced by white drool. Giving them their toys didn’t help much either… a 1.5 year old just doesn’t get the concept of you do this and I’ll give you that. Bribery is clearly an unrefined skill in both of them. Fifteen minutes and three-fourths of a lollipop later we were all exhausted, admitted defeat and went home.
Mommy myth number 453: Photographing two toddlers together is an easy and fun way to preserve cherished memories.
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